A Perfect Virtual Life

Do you ever suspect people posting images on social media that show them in a one-dimensional way, to make others think they are perfect, with a perfect life?

Are you the person you claim to be on your social media accounts?

Many of us have crafted ourselves into perfect caricatures that only exist virtually, and eventually take over the person we are in real life. It is true that everybody likes to stand out, and thus, they pick up the styles and personalities that don’t even match them at all. We have all seen men and women with flawless skin and hair, high-quality images, perfect body shapes, and unique features. Everybody is looking for something that could help them stand out among all these perfect images. One would wear pink fur jackets, drink pink-fuzzy drinks, and ride a pink Lamborghini, but be an ordinary high school girl in real life. There are many other similar cases.

You probably don’t expect a person to wear the same pink fur jacket every day, do you?

In “My So-Called (Instagram) Life,” Clara Dollar writes:

“You’re like a cartoon character,” he said. “Always wearing the same thing every day.”

He meant it as an intimate observation, the kind you can make only after spending a lot of time getting to know each other. You flip your hair to the right. You only eat ice cream out of mugs. You always wear a black leather jacket. I know you.

And he did know me. Rather, he knew the caricature of me that I had created and meticulously cultivated. The me I broadcast to the world on Instagram and Facebook. The witty, creative me, always detached and never cheesy or needy.

That version of me got her start online as my social media persona, but over time (and I suppose for the sake of consistency), she bled off the screen and overtook my real-life personality, too. And once you master what is essentially an onstage performance of yourself, it can be hard to break character.

There was a time when I allowed myself to be more than what could fit onto a 2-by-4-inch screen. When I wasn’t so self-conscious about how I was seen. When I embraced my contradictions and desires with less fear of embarrassment or rejection.

There was a time when I swore in front of my friends and said grace in front of my grandmother. When I wore lipstick after seeing “Clueless,” and sneakers after seeing “Remember the Titans.” When I flipped my hair every way, ate ice cream out of anything, and wore coats of all types and colors.

Since then, I have consolidated that variety — scrubbed it away, really — to emerge as one consistently cool girl: one face, two arms, one black leather jacket.

Social media forces us to live on other people’s opinions. Some people change themselves entirely based on how they want others to perceive their lives. They create a virtual image of what they want to be and claim it as their true identity. Being afraid of other’s judgment, they seek a virtually perfect life.

And of course, the viewers usually fall into the trap and get convinced that this is how they are in real life and so both parties fall into this delusional thought where they feel satisfied. Therefore, they both lose sight of their true identity and get fully dragged into this fake life.

It is fine to thrive towards perfection and have the desire to stand out, but only if it does not change your true identity.

Do you think you are falling victim to this illusion?

Are you the same person as you are in real life?

Written by Dua Jeffrey.

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