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Quello che gli scienziati hanno da raccontare, su sé stessi e sui propri illustri colleghi, quando non si parla necessariamente di scienza e non si commette l’errore fatale di chiedere: e lei, cos’è…

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Do We Really Need Life Coaches?

Dan De Jesus

18 May, 2021

During my early 20s if you asked me if I would be interested in life coaching sessions, I would have given a hard no.

By definition, a life coach is a type of wellness professional who helps people make progress with their goals to reach a level of success and achievement.

Since 2005, I have served in the United States Armed Forces (15 years Air Force and presently serving in the Space Force). Unlike many aspects of civilian life, much of the military path is carved out and predetermined. It is not hard to find military professionals that are in a place you desire to be and can teach you how to get there. Mentorship we call it.

Senior leaders of the armed forces are expected to mentor and guide the next generation. Because we are all replaceable, therefore the torch and mantle must be continuously passed down.

Now because senior leaders are quite easy to find to strike up a conversation with, it is probably why I never thought about the value of having a life coach. However, all of this changed in 2017.

Marital Separation

By 2017, at the age of 30, I was well on my way to a second divorce. I just purchased a home with my now ex-wife in 2015. But by the late-spring of 2017, I decided to leave the marital home. The documents for legal marital separation were filed, and a joint custody plan was put in place.

During this period of my life, I was broke and renting a close friend’s loft with my two daughters, when it was my turn to have them. Each from a different relationship.

Just for context, prior to my ex-wife, I had a girlfriend following my first marriage. My first marriage, which lasted from 2010–2012, bore no children. A relationship I was in after my first divorce, led to the birth of my first-born daughter in the summer of 2013. Yet, the relationship did not last. Then I remarried and welcomed my youngest daughter in 2015.

By the way, as an added detail, I had a vasectomy done. No more children for me. After my second child was born, I was done. There was not going to be a third “mother of my child(ren)”.

Now that you have that context about my two daughters, that I just injected into this post, almost of out of nowhere, let’s move on.

By 2017 I was broke, in debt about $50,000, living in a loft with my two daughters when I had them, and trying to figure out where my life was heading.

Time to Start Reading

I needed a change. I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. In the military there is a saying. “Leaders are readers.” But that saying meant nothing to me. That is until I hit rock bottom.

“YouTube and Amazon Audible changed my life!”

As I laid in bed trying to figure out where my life was going, I began to envision where I wanted to be. I wanted to become debt free, have my own place to call home, have the life I desire with my daughters, make the next enlisted grade of E-7, and find a healthy relationship with someone that accepts me and my two daughters.

Now here is the kicker, I did not have any money to spend on meeting with a life coach. I was broke. But there are so many FREE and CHEAP resources at my disposal. This is where I turned to YouTube; my first deliberate life coaching experience.

As I turned on my smartphone and began to figure out my life, I had several key areas I needed to get guidance and direction so I can achieve the life I wanted. These areas, what I call focus questions are:

How do I improve my dating life to find a best fit for me?

How do I become debt free?

How do I get promoted?

What do I need to know about Family Law?

It Started with YouTube

Amazon Audible

I credit Corey Wayne for equipping me with what I know today about relationships. I also credit Corey Wayne with turning me onto Amazon Audible. For less than the price of a meal at a local restaurant, I have been able to develop myself on a continuous monthly basis. From 2017 to the time of this post, I have listened to about 50 titles from various authors. For the price of about $500 dollars, over the course of four years, my life has dramatically changed.

By 2021 I have achieved everything I envisioned back in the loft I rented, during my lowest point in life. I am living the life I have always wanted with my children. All $50,000 of debt is wiped out, I was promoted to the grade of E7, and lived in my own place as of the fall of 2018. In addition, my credit score reached an 800 by May 2021, my net worth is on the rise, both of my daughters have a college fund, and I now invest at least 15% of my monthly income.

The Value of Life Coaching

As I mentioned earlier, I did not have the money to hire a life coach. However, it does not mean I was not coached by the most well renown coaches and gurus. For a small fee for my Amazon Audible subscription, and the time I spent on YouTube, I was able to plug into the mindset from people who have mastered their craft. To name a few, these are the people I learned from:

Les Brown (Motivational Speaker)

Tony Robbins (Author, Speaker, Life Coach)

Jennifer Sincero (Author)

Warren Buffet (CEO of Berkshire Hathaway)

Ray Dalio (Investor)

Dave Ramsey (Financial Coach)

Rachel Cruze (Financial Coach)

Chris Hogan (Financial Coach)

Ken Coleman (Career Coach)

Brené Brown (Researcher)

Wayne Dyer (Self Development Coach)

Eric Thomas (Motivational Speaker)

Dr. Joe Dispenza (Neuroscientist)

Matthew McConaughey (Actor)

Jay Shetty (Author and Former Monk)

Kevin Hart (Actor and Comedian)

Dwayne “Rock” Johnson (Pro-Wrestler and Actor)

Rory Vaden (Author)

Stephanie Land (Author)

Cal Newport (Author)

Corey Wayne (Relationship Coach)

Mark Manson (Author)

Oprah Winfrey (Television Host and Author)

Stefan Aarnio (Author)

David Deida (Author)

Steve Harvey (Comedian, Television Host, and Author)

David Goggins (Military Veteran and Author)

Joel Osteen (Christian Pastor and Author)

Grant Cardone (Author and Real Estate Entrepreneur)

Darren Hardy (Speaker, Author, Advisor, and Former SUCCESS magazine Publisher)

Mike Bayer (Author and Coach)

Now the list I outlined is not an all-inclusive list. But the point I am making, I would not be where I am today in my life, career, and as a parent without the many authors, speakers, financial coaches, and professionals that I have had the privilege to learn from. Even though I never met face-to-face with any of the people I mention in this post, I was indirectly coached by each one of them.

I Am a Success Story. Now What?

There is nothing special about my story. What I gave you in this post is just the highlight reel. If I had to write on everything from 2017–2021, I would most definitely have a book worth of material.

The point I want to make is that I am a success story. However, I am an everyday average everyday person. And now I look toward writing the pages of my next chapter. Who do I want to become now?

Investor; Podcaster; Blogger; Life Coach; Single Father Mentor; and Space Force Chief Master Sergeant (E9).

My Call to Action

So, what about you? After listening to my story, what will you do to become a better version of yourself today. You do not have to start big. After-all, my journey began when I turned on my smartphone and listened to one YouTube video at a time.

Invita uno scienziato a cena

Do We Really Need Life Coaches?

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