Wading into the Darkness

Soon it will be my turn to enter the stream

I sit alone on a jutting rock
Nasty brown, muddy river water
lapping at the mossy base of my perch
The far bank shrouded in mist
Cool fog roiling off the tormented waves
What will be there when I cross

My journey to this river’s edge a long one
Years wasted crawling through the dirt
Self-inflicted pain putting me face down
on a road only I could see
Many years ago,
I scrambled on the high peaks
Wandering paths that forever led me
higher and higher toward the clouds

But the years faded behind me
and endless need to rise higher left me,
then the warm plains calling me down
I walk slower these days
The boy who ran past life now gone
Nothing left but an old man
lingering in whatever days are still mine

I entered the flat lands late in life
Standing tall amongst the sunflowers
Feeling the hot earth on my bare feet
The sun golden and purple on the horizon
Drawn towards the river’s call
The irresistible need to return to the source
The pull of heading downstream

The other side beckons me
What lays beyond this eternal stream
Can I make it through the rapids,
where so many friends
drowned in their own madness

I wander slowly along the bank
The smell of eternity rides the murky waters
Not my turn to wade
into the darkness just yet
But soon I start my swim across

I dream of that far bank but I cannot see
The tallest trees barely peeking through
All hidden from my prying eyes
The mysteries there not yet mine

I stir the water with my toes
Swirls of darkness form a circle
What lies beneath
What lies beyond
Soon I will know
Soon it will be my turn
to enter the stream

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