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Goodbye Underwood

“It was like Cheers.”

One Sunday afternoon, mid-August 2011 we drove past Underwood playground in Brooklyn and realized it was the first day in 4 months, where we were NOT there.

My husband Keith cocked his head in thought

Keith — Really?

Me — Really…we go every day. Well at least I do

And I did. The Underwood Playground saw me and Luna EVERY DAMN DAY.

The funny thing is, it never got old….EVER.

From the age of 18 months to 8 years old, Luna was a steady member of the Underwood Crew.

Then two things happened.

Razi, her brother was born and we found out he didn’t really like the playground.

And Luna aged out.

It was a sad slow happening.

Right around the time Luna’s legs started getting too long for the jungle gym was the same time we realized Razi would rather ride the NYC subway…for fun…for HOURS.

But for a golden period of time when Obama smiled at us from the White House we were smiling back at him from Underwood and the world seemed perfect.

Pre-Razi, Luna had a crew of friends that met every day after school at Underwood and sometimes all day in the summer. Anywhere from 3 to 15 of us would sit on the benches and watch our kids play while we snacked and kept hydrated.

We talked about anything and everything and every 10 minutes or so one of the gang would fly in with their kids and we’d all yell their name. They’d smile back and head right for us on the benches.

It was like Cheers.

The Very Best Thing things happened over the years. I formed some of the best friendships I’d ever have.

Lisa, Suzanne, Kim, Karen, Farida, Jill, Natalye, Elizabeth, Malcolm, Mussa, Val, Nancy, Celine, Eli, Syed, Jen, Marquis, April, Camille, Angelina, Candida, Melanie, Angie, Law, Jasmine, Stacy, Tony, Michelle, Michelle and Michelle (I know, lol).

I was going to describe them all but I’d be here ALL DAY LONG.

So let me just say I’ve had some of the best times of my life watching the world (our kids) go by as we talked about them, politics, the justice system, Hollywood, real estate, high school, college, pregnancy, racism, misogyny, marriage divorce and EVERY OTHER DAMN THING.

Sometimes the kids got into spats and our real conflict/resolution skills came out. Most times it would blow over in a matter of minutes but a few times it didn’t. There were parents not speaking to each other for a bit and it was not good. And when it ended everyone was glad.

In the summer of 2013 we lost Desmond, a stellar father at the playground who died suddenly one night at dinner 45 minutes after we all parted from the benches.

We were shocked. We all went to the funeral and it was then I realized we all handled death differently with our kids. Some kids were at the funeral, some weren’t. I told Luna (Razi was too young) about Mr. Desmond’s passing and she cried pretty hard. She just wanted to know what would happen to his son.

Desmond was divorced and his mother took custody of him. Desmond had sole custody before. His son’s mother didn’t know any of us and after one day at the playground, a month after, we never saw him again.

We’d spend hours at Underwoord.

It happened more than once that we’d get there around 1:30 after lunch, hang out for 2 hours and just as we were leaving a fresh crew of friends would come through so we’d stay. 3:30 would turn into 5:30 and soon I’d find myself ordering Chinese food for dinner. I’d text my husband “Meet us at Underwood for dinner” and he and several other dads would.

It would be 8:45 and the groundskeeper would tell us “Time to go!” and we’d all part ways down Lafayette, laughing, some of us pushing strollers under the Brooklyn sun.

It was a life of happiness and ease I allowed myself to have once I relaxed into the comfort of my neighborhood and opened myself up to making new friends.

And it was golden….for a time.

Razi was born in 2012 and 5 days after his birth I was right back at Underwood…with a pillow for my stitches, but I was there.

I’d hold and feed him as Luna ran around and around with her friends. My many girlfriends took turns holding Razi as I had done with their fresh crop of babies over the years.

One day Luna went for the monkey bars and realized her legs were getting way too long. So she sat up top with her little friends that was the same height as her while Razi hung out next to her.

The next day I put on my shoes right after breakfast.

Me — Who’s up for Underwood?

Luna — Not me, my feet were dragging yesterday.

Razi — Train Mama, Train!!!

Razi was 2 and a half and we had just realized he LOVED taking the train.

All that time we spent on the subway taking Luna back and forth to ballroom dancing lessons in midtown had me feeling bad for my poor son, stuck on the train all the time.

Truth was he CRAVED it.

My friends were texting that they were gonna be at Underwood and I had to decline. Because it was “No” for Luna and “No” for Razi. No one wanted to go but ME.

We got on the G train, switched to the R at 4th ave./9th street and rode out to Bay Ridge. Then we turned around and took it all the way to 49th street in Manhattan.

Luna read her book and Razi looked out the window the whole time with smiling eyes but I was kinda sad.

It was over.

The end of an era and even when I’d try to take the kids back to the playground it wasn’t the same.

Luna’s friends had aged out and Razi honestly had no interest in amassing a crew. He just wanted an eternal metro-card.

Sometimes we’d ride by on the weekends and at the stoplight I’d look in to see if I noticed anyone.

Me — (thinking) Maybe I’ll see someone we know

But we don’t. Everyone has aged out or bought brownstones in Bed Stuy.

I didn’t know that magical time would end but then do we ever?

Do we ever sit in the middle of pure magic and realize one day it will all be over?

One of the last days we really enjoyed at Underwood was an event I had to work pretty hard to make happen.

Luna and her friends were aging out and I had to text EVERYBODY just to get a small crew there.

The Luna Crew pretty much hung out by the little benches on the jungle gym bridge and Razi played with his toy G train by the benches.

One by one everyone left but I wasn’t done.

I took a picture of Luna to remember her in this space she had grown up in.

She didn’t know why I needed this pic but I did. I knew the end was something I was holding on to. And I couldn’t let go until I could hold it forever in a photograph I could touch.

She smiled and ate her ice cream cone. And after I took the pic we packed up and left.

The kids saw Mr. Softie a block ahead and I promised to buy ice cream sandwiches at the bodega on our corner.

I held their sweaty hands and thought about the chicken I would bake in 20 minutes.

We stopped at the corner for the red light and it was quiet.

I looked up at Classon avenue as I had done a thousand times before and sighed.

Me — Goodbye Underwood

And then we three crossed the street.

The kids ducked under the scaffolding, singing the newest song on the radio.

And I watched the sun go down.

#OnTheWay

#YesIAmThatMom

The Right Way of Doing Article Marketing

Goodbye Underwood

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