NBK43

Virtual Social Fatigue

Considering how little I have done the ‘dating thing’ in my life, I never thought I would start to experience virtual social fatigue.

I should distinguish. I actually like being around people. Especially…ESPECIALLY…nowadays. Given there was a period we weren’t going out AT ALL, even my introverted self acknowledged being with people was important. I longed for human interaction. Craved it.

Now I have opportunities for it, but beyond the obvious fluttery buggetery that comes with meeting someone new — I would expect to be trepidatious about that — is a stranger kind of exhaustion. It’s the pre-date stuff. The selection process. The getting to understand you before I get to know you.

The virtual Darwinism.

Do people take enjoyment from all the texts, scanning, reviewing your pre-selected ‘choices’, etc? I’ve come to find that, frankly, I’m not sure how I feel. I was always excited to see who popped on my profile in the first few weeks, but now, after months of scanning and selecting, I admit I’m tired.

Why?

Obviously it’s one of my quirks — I know people who’ve done online dating and love it. But those people are also the types of people who love to meet people, who’ve dated a lot, who see a date as just that — a date. Nothing more, just a chance to meet someone.

For me, with my newbie ness, I think I make it a lot more than that. I think it becomes high stakes, and so for me, it is literally Darwinism at it’s worst — I am nervous for something to go wrong, am more apt to click ‘no, no, no’ a lot more often than I click like/okay/heartyheart/mushybee. I am pretty sure I’m not going to survive the evolution.

I am a bit mentally exhausted right now, I’ve put some of the virtual sites on hold for a bit, just to ‘recover’, but I don’t want to stop. Does this type of mental fatigue happen to others? And what do you do to push through?

Any advice is good advice.

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